The Name of The Wild Webcomic Review

What's in a name?  A rose by any other name would smell. . .

LIKE A WILD WEBCOMIC REVIEW

Yes, I managed to power through and get a new batch of reviews done before the end of year.  Exciting, isn't it?  I even managed to clear out a few comics from my Future Read folder, which is painfully large.  Anyway, on with the show.

246.  Little Guardians - This is a comic about nature vs nurture as the two main characters are switched at birth, because one is a girl.  How delightful!  Still, the comic does it's best to prove that it doesn't matter as both children show amazing powers and it's really about their journey to finding the heroes in themselves.  At least that's the eventual goal as the comic so far feels, um, light I guess.  There are 4 chapters (in two published books, which I don't get, comic is too young for that) and maybe 2 full stories, but even then, the stories feel empty, like they aren't doing everything they can.  Maybe it's just because it IS a young comic, or that they seem hell bent on pushing the publishing angle or something, I don't know, but it feels like it should be denser.  I'll keep reading it (whenever it updates, it's going straight to the Monthly folder at the current rate), but I'll be waiting for it to finally fill out.

247.  Lackadaisy - This comic has been on my Future Read list for a LONG time, mostly because I thought it was a lot longer than it really is.  It's not, maybe 60 strips, but if Little Guardians is light, this is made of solid diamond.  Every page of this comic has more story in it than most comics manage in a week, or a month in some cases.  And each is gorgeous.  There are very few comics I've read that are at this level.  Better yet, it's a period piece set in prohibition era St. Louis, so it ends up being historically accurate as well as looking damn good.  Okay, so all the characters are cats, but the comic doesn't make anything of it, they just happen to be cats.  To be blunt, it works, despite the apparent long lag time between strips (which again, are gorgeous, so that's not unexpected).  This comic deserves to be read and I should have started a lot sooner.

248. Cerintha - It's pronounced See-reen-tha apparently.  I like this comic, but it did confuse me to start.  The early strips made it kind of hard to tell the difference between men and women in the comic, and the first story is set during the fall of the Roman Empire, which really confused me since there were women in places they shouldn't be historically.  That all resolved itself when I realized that 95% of the cast are all women.  This is an enjoyable comic and the first story, while a little loose, moved well enough and was very entertaining.  The second story feels much stronger, but less humorous than the first (at least so far, second story is in progress).  Then I flipped through the extras for the comic which are probably some of the most entertaining extras I've seen for a comic.  This is a fun comic that I think I'll be reading for a while.

249.  August Loves May - I don't think I originally added this comic to my Future Reads, but the bookmark I had redirected to it, and confused, I went hunting for the first strip, which I eventually found (stupid tablet layouts).  By that point I was invested enough to finish reading it, but it's really not what I look for in a comic.  Oh it's funny enough, I guess, gag-a-day humor about a young married couple (no kids) and the silly things that happen to them, just not what I want to read on a regular basis.  The art is fine, the jokes are okay, the website is difficult to navigate and will get worse as the comic gets bigger, but otherwise, it's just nothing special, and nothing I really want to continue to follow.

250.  Strong Female Protagonist - I have an issue with this comic, which I'll get into in a moment.  For all practical purposes this is a bit of a deconstruction (and excuse me if I miss use the term, I got a degree in physics not English) of the superhero genre.  I like that, I'm just not sure the comic does a good job of it.  I mean, it's there, it works and points out the ultimate flaw of the genre (are they really making a difference?), but I feel it lacks something and I'm not sure exactly what.  That's not even my main issue with the comic, it's just something I felt as I read it, that it was missing something, something important, that would properly drive the whole thing forward.  No, my issue is with the title.  I get it, by the way, it's a play on "superhero girl," using strong for super, female for girl and protagonist instead of hero.  It fits the comic's plot pretty well as the main character is no longer a superhero (she basically retired) just as she headed off to college (and ceased being a girl).  My issue is the implication that this is THE strong female protagonist.  Considering that of the four other comics of this batch, 3 have female protagonists, and hell Cerintha has a cast that's practically all women, I don't see how that claim is valid.  Perhaps that's not what they meant by it, but that's the impression I get out of it, likely from all list sites I happened to find it on.  It colors the comic, perhaps unfairly, for me.  I'll probably continue to read it for a while, see if they find that thing they missed, but the title will continue to bug me.  I've read better comics, but I've also read much worse ones which like to smack you around with their message, this one at least doesn't do that.

Well that's 250.  I thought about celebrating it a bit, but at this point only hundreds should be treated as such.  Hopefully I can get there sometime in the next decade.  Until next time kiddies.

Dreams of Stars Part 6

            Pancakes dripping with syrup, three strips of bacon, four links of sausage and a fried egg lay across Deborah's plate while her fork and knife dug into each piece so that she could eat them greedily.  L’lorne had a cup of coffee, still steaming hot, in front of her, untouched since she ordered it.

            An elderly waitress stepped up to ask if there would be anything else, but L’lorne waved her off before she could speak.  The woman nodded an acknowledgment and moved to talk with a fat man in a tattered tee shirt and overalls.

            "So, what's his name?"

            L’lorne shook her head clear slightly.  "Who?"

            "The man you're looking for," Deborah repeated.  "What's his name?"

            "Oh," L’lorne smiled.  "I'm surprised you remembered that much.  You were pretty tired."

            "Yeah, I guess so.  Walking for seven hours does that to a person."  Deborah bit a link of sausage in half.  In the background, the old cook called out for another order.  "So are you going to tell me or not?"

            Llonre considered not.  His real name wouldn't make any sense to her, and Ritch 'arrd would be even more confusing, that is unless she used an acceptable substitute.  "Richard," she finally said.

            "Cute name."

            "Yeah, I suppose."  A skinny girl dressed in black entered with her boyfriend and the two sat down the booth behind Deborah.  He squealed as she kissed him, long and deep, as he ran his fingers through her brown hair that had been messily dyed black.

            "So was it love at first sight?"  Deborah had finished off the eggs and was halfway through the pancakes.  "Did he just show up one day, sweep you off your feet and you both ran off to fall in love?"

            "I think you've been watching too many movies," L’lorne teased.  Her finger fiddled with the rim of the cup in front of her.  "No, we didn't fall in love right away.  I'm not even sure he knew we'd fall in love."  The statement hung there for a moment, until the woman at the end of the counter knocked her glass onto the floor with a crash.  The fat man got up and tried to help the red head as she desperately tried to apologize for the accident to the waitress.  L’lorne took the opportunity to move the conversation along.  "I was looking to expand my horizons, learn about the world.  He was," she paused for the right term.  "Looking for an apprentice."

            "Apprentice?  Is that like something to do with wizards and stuff?"

            "Something like that."  Actually, it wasn't too far off, but only in a very broad sense.  "He wanted to teach someone everything he learned, and he found me."

            "Then you fell in love?"

            L’lorne's finger dipped into the coffee and began to stir the steam around.  "Eventually."

            Deborah finished off her pancakes and settled back into her seat.  "You make it sound so boring."

            "Hardly boring.  Never a dull moment with him, unless I wanted one, which wasn't often."  L’lorne replayed some of the better events, watching as she and Ritch 'arrd went about their own version of romance, and all the steps of love.

            "Isn't that hot?"

            L’lorne shook herself out and noticed that her finger was in the coffee.  "Ah, no, not really."  She pushed it to the side, away from Deborah's eyes.

            "Geez, you must really have loved him, you're daydreaming about him." 

            The girl wasn't wrong, and L’lorne gave a wry smile to agree.  "I did, I really did."

            "So what happened?  You had a fight?"

            No, if it had been a fight, the universe would have known about it.  "We had a falling out over something that doesn't bear repeating."  She couldn't bear repeating it.  In fact, she couldn't even bear remembering it.

            "Come on, it couldn't have been that bad."

            Yes, it could.  In her mind, L’lorne could see the memory of the event, blocked out by a giant black seal, locked away and inaccessible.  All the mental tools to carve her way through were available, but she declined to use them, she knew better.  Behind the block was something so terrible that even she couldn't face it and stay in control.  Even so, that memory still played havoc on her, emanating emotions, sad and angry emotions right through her, warning signs of what was behind the block.  "I don't want to talk about it, okay?"

            "Alright."  The waitress returned and began gathering the plates and cups.  As she did, the girl in black starting yelling for service and when there was no immediate response, she began complaining very loudly about the poor quality of the diner and waitress’ ability.  The old waitress simply shook her head and finished her task, ignoring the woman's complaints.

            With the table bare, Deborah leaned across it so she was nearer L’lorne.  "You're looking for him to make up, right?"

            No, she wasn't.  No matter what the bulk of her memories said, L’lorne wasn't looking to make up.  He had gone beyond that point, gone to a place where she could never, ever forgive him.  The only choice she had anymore was when she found him whether she would let him live, and she wasn't sure there was much choice there either.  "Maybe, we'll see."

---------

            L’lorne nearly collapsed onto the hard granite surface of the mountain.  Muscles she didn't know existed ached from the excursion of climbing up to the top of this boulder that was bigger than anything she had ever seen or even heard of before.

            "Tired?"  He was already here, standing a short distance away, staring at the landscape around them.  She said nothing, more concerned with reclaiming her breath and reconsidering whether following him was a good idea in the first place.  "That's alright.  I'm surprised you actually made it up here.  Well, maybe not surprised, but you've got spirit, and you'll need it later."

            His hand surprised her shoulder and he held it there for a moment.  Her energy seemed to grow, her breath returned and she felt stronger than she had ever felt before.  L’lorne stood tall as the hand left and took a deep, relaxing breath.  "Oh, that's better."

            "Of course it is."  He led her to the edge where he had previously been standing and waved his hand over the landscape.  "Wonderful sight isn't it?"

            "Yeah, never seen anything like it before."

            He smiled and then whispered into her ear.  "This is nothing."  L’lorne looked at him with a bit of confusion.  "Nothing.  This landscape is a spec so small compared to what I will show you that it is, in fact, nothing.  This mountain, that one, the fields over there, the trees," he pointed to each as he spoke.  "Are nothing."

            She cracked a small chuckle.  "You mean we came all this way just to look at nothing?"

            "Ah," he said with no small amount of pride.  "No, of course not.  There are many reasons to come here.  The first is to see if you could make it, and if you would try to make it.  I don't think you questioned any of it until you got up here, and that is worth quite a bit to me."  The smile he grew with that sentence sent a chill through L’lorne.  There was something there she couldn't quite understand, but she knew it was there.  "Another reason is for your first lesson.  Now, touch the rock of the mountain.  Go ahead."

            L’lorne did so, bending over and rubbing her hand along the smooth yet rough rock.  She told him so.

            "Feels solid, doesn't it?"

            Her nod was interrupted halfway through as she continued to move her hands along the rock face.  "It feels solid, it looks solid, but, it really isn't, is it?"

            He motioned her to stand up and pointed to a mountain in the distance.  "Watch."  A single beat followed, and a chunk of rock snapped off and triggered a landslide into the ground far below.

            "Wow."  Honest amazement, the sight of such a large amount of seemingly solid stone slipping off like that took her breath away for the second time today.

            "It's not solid, none of it is.  Beneath the surface are cracks and fissures that one can't see.  You can feel them, a little, but you can't see them.  You don't know when one is just going to give way though."  He turned her toward him and looked right into her eyes.  "I am going to teach you how to see the cracks, know when they're going to give way, know how to repair them, and how to cause them."

            "But you said this mountain is nothing."

            He chuckled.  "There is more beneath the surface of everything than can be seen at first glance."  He turned around and headed away.

            "Where are you going?"

            "Back down," he called out.  L’lorne let out a groan.  "You can stay if you like," he looked back with a smile.  "Of course, that chunk of rock you're standing on might just slip and break off if you do."

            Her eyes grew big for a moment, and then shrunk back.  "You bastard," she muttered and followed after him.

---------

Questions

1.  What kind of person is Lcorn Llorne?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
2.  What kind of person is the Deborah Ignigus?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
3.  Does the setting seem fitting?  Would you like to know more?
4.  What do you think Ritch 'arrd did to make L'lorn so angry?
5.  From what little has been said so far, where do you think L'lorn is from.

Touching Base #15

Another round of Touching Base, and it's been a while, to which I apologize, but I was in Texas for a lot longer than I intended.

Guess I'll start with the "bad" news.  I say bad because it's not really, no comics died since August, but Shi Long Pang and Zebra Girl did go on an announced hiatus after completing their most recent chapters.  Shi Long Pang's artist is cleaning his pallet with a side project (that's not being put online from what I can tell) while he writes out the story for the final volume of Shi Long Pang.  Zebra Girl, meanwhile, is mostly doing site updates (supposedly, heard that story before) and plans to be back up next year.  WHEN next year is a question.

Makeshift Miracle is updating again, but I'm having issues getting back into it.  Not sure what the problem is, maybe the long delay between chapters or something.  Anyway, it's still in the Monthly file because I'm kind of lazy about it.

I'm not lazy, however, when it comes to Alex Ze Pirate who made a promise to get back to T-Th and I moved it in my bookmarks over to said directory.  And it hasn't updated since September now.  Yeah.  So I'm too lazy to change it's position in the list here, but it's getting damn close to being shifted off to Hiatus.

Speaking of Hiatus, looks like Edible Dirt will probably be reassigned to Dead next month.  It'll be over a year since it last updated mid December, and I won't be waiting for it any more after that.  Sad to see it go, but again, it hasn't updated in a year, so no big loss at this point.

Of course, The Meek is also at it's year marker, but he at least told us why it's not updating, so it gets to stay in Hiatus.

Meanwhile, Twilight Lady's alternate comic, Vine, um, pretty much hasn't done anything after the first few posts.  Oh, it's got a full edition, which you can purchase, but no more updates online, I guess.  Doesn't matter, but it does seem to connect to Twilight Lady somehow, though I am unclear on that.

Sinfest has been having some odd uptime issues of late.  I don't know if it's server issues or what, no news on that front, but I have my suspicions.  Suspicions that someone has been DDoSing the site or something otherwise underhanded.  Lots of negative reaction to Sinfest as of late, and it seems anything written about the comic gets attention.  In fact, my brief article on Sinfest I did a bit ago has gotten more individual hits than any other article on the blog.  I think that's due to the fact that the Bad Webcomic Wiki linked to it.  Hi to those from there, BTW.

Last bit of negative news is the continued truncated schedule for Sluggy Freelance due to injury to Abram's hand.  Hope he gets better soon, but I'm surprised he can keep the comic looking as good as it does despite the injury.  I do wonder if he'll scale back permanently, but no way to know for now.

Okay, enough downer to bad news.  Elsie Hooper announced a new format:  Full pages once a week.  Which is better than the 2 or 3 panels whenever he feels like it.  I joke, but the schedule and format were kind of haphazard before so declaring a more regular design is a good step towards finally ending this comic which has been near the end of it's run for, um, a while now.

Does Not Play Well With Others has started a Patreon campaign.  What is it?  Well, you sign up, offering to pay so much for each page he draws.  If he doesn't draw a comic, he doesn't get paid, if he does, he gets paid.  Simple as that.  It's actually an interesting idea and a way to get him motivated to draw it in between reworking Errant Story for publication.  Speaking of which, apparently they've been struggling with cleaning up some of the flash back pages for Errant Story and are possibly looking for help in doing it for future pages, so contact them if you're interested.

Derelict has finished up it's first book.  Yes, it remains one of my favorite comics, and I am thinking about pitching in to it's kickstarter despite not having money.  Second book is set to start with the new year.

I skipped it because I was in Texas, but back in October was Sandra and Woo's 5th anniversary.  Not many comics continue a steady production like that so I do want to congratulate everyone involved, even if it is a bit late.

Speaking of Sandra and Woo, it and Gunnerkrig Court share something in common:  budding sexuality.  Both of their recent storylines have focused on the sexuality of a couple of their characters, and it's been very tasteful and well done.  And likely won't get either comic any flack for it.  I've talked about sexuality, particularly homosexuality (which is what this related to kids) before, and I may revisit the topic again but less about what comics are doing it, and more about WHY they're doing it, but that's an article for another day.

Which brings me to my last topic, that of Dead Winter's artist, who announced her dealing with trans/gender dysphoria for what sounds like the bulk of her life.  I know little about the subject (outside of Material Girl, which isn't much to be honest), but I do give her my full support and hope that things go well for her in the near future.  And it's not just because she draws a comic I throughly enjoy (that's part of it, of course) but because it's the decent and right thing to do.

Next week, assuming I can power through them in time, I might actually have a batch of reviews, if not, I'll say something.  Until then kiddies.

Dreams of Stars Part 5

            L’lorne stuck her head into the hut and glanced around the half lighted darkness.  No one.  With a nod of approval she slipped in and headed right for the basket that contained her few possessions.  Of prime concern was the large animal hide bag that sat on top, the one she was about to fill.

            In went the necklace her father had given her, made of sparkling stones and shells from some land where the river met an even greater body of water she had only ever heard stories of.  Next came the blanket she and her mother had constructed together, a great piece of fabric decorated with vibrant symbols of protection and luck.  An extra pair of sandals, her secret stash of sweet rock that she smuggled from the last harvest festival, a small doll made of wood and fabric that she had since she was a kid, all went into the bag.

            "Not even going to say good bye?"  Her mother's voice surprised her, and the bag fell in a lump to the floor.  L’lorne turned to face her, and exposed the pendant she had won, the twisted T.  "You're going with him, aren't you?"  L’lorne couldn't even nod.  Shame suddenly fell on her, trying to force her eyes down to the ground.

            "He said he would teach me," she finally choked out.

            "About what?  What could he teach you that you cannot learn here?"

            "The stars," L’lorne said hesitantly.  "He promised to teach me about the stars."

            Her mother stepped toward her and L’lorne winced in expectance of a slap.  Instead, she was embraced in a hug.  "You're too much like I was at your age."  Her voice softened to almost a whisper.  "I would have gone too, if I had been given a chance.  I always loved to bathe in the light of the stars."

            "Mother."

            "There is still so much you have to learn from me.  Things that at your age I didn't even realize I had to learn, things you haven't even thought of yet."  She moved her daughter to look her right in the face.  "How to be a wife, how to be a mother, dozens of others, and I want to teach them to you so bad so you can know all the feelings I am feeling now."

            "If I don't go," L’lorne finally gathered the courage to say.  "Then that's all I'll ever learn.  I'll never know any more."

            "Is that so bad?"  L’lorne couldn't answer, she couldn't be angry either, and fell onto her mother's chest.  "If you go, you'll learn those lessons alone, I won't be there to help you."

            "I know."

            "Your father won't be happy.  Your brothers won't be happy either."

            "I want to learn about the stars."

            Lcorn Denofors lightly pushed her daughter back and smiled into her eyes.  "You can only go if you promise to come back and see me and tell me all you learned."

            L’lorne smiled.  "I promise, I promise."

---------

            Deborah had very little with her, at least as far as L’lorne had seen so far.  There was a photograph of her and her mother, kept in the inside chest pocket, right next to the girl's heart.  In one of the covered pockets was a clutch of credit chips, maybe 30 worth, and a lighter, which seemed a touch out of place.  A half eaten bag of potato chips and a candy bar was in the other pocket, and one glove sat in each of the hand pockets of the coat.

            How much had she left behind?  She had said she had gathered quite a few things before leaving the only home she really ever knew, but she didn't insist on returning for them as L’lorne had expected she would.  Now, as the sun set along the quiet stretch of road some 28 miles away from where they had started, going back for them would be quite impossible.  Well, as far as Deborah was concerned anyway.

            A sign they passed was worn, but read that they had finally entered a new county, and according to the map, there was a town only a couple miles more away.  It would take maybe a half hour of walking at most, just enough time to check into a local motel for the night.

            L’lorne looked back at the girl, and decided that it was impossible.  Deborah was mentally exhausted, but not from the walk, just everything leading up to it was enough to wear out even the most active soul.  She wouldn't admit it, though, that wasn't the kind of person she was, and if it were left to simply that, she would insist that they continue.

            But she didn't know how tired she really was, how much her body had worn out in the last seven hours.  The girl was reasonably fit, for her age and economic bracket, as well as her lifestyle, yet there was no way she could make such a trip on her own, she'd never survive it.  L’lorne had to massage the leg muscles to keep them going, adjust the amount of oxygen flowing through her blood, and her heart rate, so that she could simply keep up.  Lactic acid had to be drawn out carefully, so just enough burn could still be felt, but wouldn't overwhelm and exhaust Deborah, while the rest of the body had to be told not to over react to, well, everything that was happening.  Doing all this while making it almost invisible to Deborah's ever watchful eyes had been difficult, and spoiling it now with a sharp boost to her system just to get her an extra couple of miles wasn't worth the effort.

            "We should stop," L’lorne said aloud.

            Deborah glanced around at fields and road and grunted.  "Yeah, where?"

            "Over there."  A large tree, unremarkable by all accounts, and a cluster of three, car sized rocks stood only a couple of hundred meters away, plenty close enough to make it.

            "Hope you brought blankets, it gets pretty cold at night."  L’lorne only smiled.  They'd be plenty warm enough.  A warm front had, spontaneously, as far as meteorologists were concerned, settled of the entire region.  To help it out, a thick stream of clouds, far too weak to carry any serious rain, but thick enough to trap heat at the surface had come in along with the front.

            Deborah settled down against one of the rocks with a huff.  L’lorne spent a few moments gathering dried sticks and piling them nearby.  As she worked, she watched Deborah rub her tired limbs and desperately try to keep from actually falling asleep.  "You know," L’lorne dropped another pile of sticks and began to organize them into a proper pile for burning.  "You can just go to sleep, I won't hold it against you."

            "I'm fine," Deborah lied, a yawn punctuating her fib.

            L’lorne said nothing.  She grabbed one of the larger, flatter sticks, almost a limb in size, and placed a longer one at a right angle on it and began to drill the longer one into it with her bare hand, while the other hand gathered dried leaves and grass around it.

            "What are you doing?"

            "Starting a fire."  The smoke began to rise up from the pile, and suddenly a sharp light sprung up.  With a push, the now burning leaves slipped under the pile of sticks and began to generate a nice, warming fire.

            "Never seen anyone do that before."

            L’lorne smiled.  "I always used to start fires like this.  Only way I could when I was a kid."

            "I use a lighter."  Deborah dug into her pocket and tossed it to L’lorne who caught it with ease.  She turned the silver, refillable lighter in her hand, feeling the long, narrow groves that had been carved into it long after it had been originally manufactured.

            "Nice.  Your mothers?"

            "Sort of."  Deborah placed one hand out and tested the heat of the fire before bringing the other in to join it.  "She always left it in her coat, using only when she wore it.  I think," she paused, looking to check her own thoughts, then letting them out anyway.  "I think it belonged to my father."

            "Really?"  L’lorne scanned the metal casing looking for a few cells that might have survived the years.  It was habit anymore.

            "Once, when she was using it, I asked her about dad, and she got this real sad look in her eyes and just stared at it, like she was remembering something.  Then she changed the subject."  Her hand flipped over and requested the lighter's return.  L’lorne obliged.  There was no leftover genetic material that couldn't be traced to Deborah or her mother.  It wouldn't take much to find the girl's father, but to what end?  Best case, he would be in the same boat as the mother, worse case. . .

            No, Ritch 'arrd wouldn't have.  Some random woman, relatively uneducated, powerless?  Not his type.  He certainly wouldn't have sent people to grab her off the street if he had, he could have just asked.  In any case, Deborah would have been far more interesting than her mother.

            "Something wrong?"

            "Oh, no, I was just remembering someone I loved once.  You just reminded me of him."

            Another yawn.  "Really?  He leave you too?"

            "Sort of.  Actually, I'm out looking for him.  He's around somewhere, and I'd like to see him again."  L’lorne considered continuing, but the girl had already fallen asleep.  Good, no sense going into too many details, especially since L’lorne herself was a bit short of them as well.  Besides, if she knew Deborah as well as she thought she did, there would be more questions tomorrow.

---------

Questions

1.  What kind of person is Lcorn Llorne?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
2.  What kind of person is the Deborah Ignigus?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
3.  Does the setting seem fitting?  Would you like to know more?
4.  I didn't write this story with chapters in mind.  If I did, does this seem a good place to begin a chapter?

Dreams of Stars Part 4

             The plate was full of food, a large hamburger, and fries, and Deborah dug into it with a passion reserved for the starving.  The blond waitress, her hair tied up into a tight bun, eyes blue and deep, laid a plate in front of Llorne, a small sandwich, and wished them a good meal.

            "Mama works for Danny," Deborah choked out over her eating.  "Well, she actually works for herself, but if she wants to live in Danny's building and work his streets, she has to pay him a percentage of whatever she earns.  She never makes all that much, but we always had enough to eat."  A large man in a suit and a hat settled down in the booth behind Llorne, and for a moment caught Deborah's eye, mostly because he was very, very large.

            "Anyway," she continued, downing a bit of soda to help wash down the beef, bread, lettuce and onions go down, the tomatoes sat unwanted on the edge of the plate.  "So mama worked the streets before I was even born, then she got pregnant and things changed.  Don't know what she was like before, but the way the other girls talk about those days, she was different."

            "Did you ever know your father?"  Llorne's food remained untouched, and would remain that way.  The skinny woman sitting across from the booth dropped a fork on the floor and bent over to recover it, her long brown hair dusting the floor.

            A handful of fries disappeared into Deborah's mouth.  "No," she said through the chewing, pausing long enough to finish and swallow.  "Never knew him, mama never talked about him either.  I know Danny wasn't happy about it, but the other girls helped mama out until I was born and she could earn a 'proper living' as he called it, again."

            "Order up!"  The cook, a skinny kid with short black hair cried out for the waitress in a high pitched but still quite male voice.

            "When I turned 10, I guess Danny was tired of me living in the place because he said I had to start earning a 'proper living.'  Mama was ticked, refused to let me, not that I wanted to you know?  The other girls gave Danny a hard time about it too, enough that he decided that I could slide on it, for a while.  Still, I had to do something or Danny would throw me and mama out of his apartment complex we lived in, so I had to go on cop watch."

            An old man, grey but still reasonably fit called out to the waitress for the check.  His wife, looking much older than her husband, muttered something about poor service.

            "Cop watch?"

            "Oh sure," Deborah had finished the hamburger, and was now busy covering her fries in lines of ketchup.  "See, the cops get upset when the girls do their thing along certain streets, the ones they seem to do best on, incidentally.  So my job, along with some other kids Danny would hire, would stand watch at the corners looking for them to come by, and when they did, we'd cry out and the girls would pull away from the curb and look like they were just passing through instead of working the street.

            "I was pretty good at it too.  Danny even said so, as when I worked a corner, no cop ever got by.  Not even when they were on the other side.  He said it was like I could almost smell them.  So that's what I was doing that night."  She paused and looked towards Llorne's untouched sandwich.  "Are you going to eat that?"

            Llorne smiled and pushed it forward to her.  The girl grabbed at the sandwich and began chewing, the half eaten plate of fries forgotten in favor of a short ruben.  "You were working a corner the night your mother disappeared."

            Deborah swallowed and her eyes grew angry.  "Disappeared nothing, she was kidnapped, not block away from where I was."  The anger evaporated to sadness.  "I couldn't get to her in time."

            A hand reached out and grasped hers.  "It's not your fault," Llorne said.  "Now, what happened?"

            The sandwich, only a handful of bites taken out of it, settled onto the plate, the burning hunger that had brought it to this side of the table at least temporarily gone.  "I was working the corner for mama, Mary and Louise about three weeks ago.  They were walking along 5^th, between Hyde and Sullivan, it’s a very prime spot.  I was at Hyde about a block away from where mama was when this limo pulls around the corner.  I didn't think nothing of it because a limo means money and on 5^th, that means money looking for a girl for the night.

            "Now I don't watch mama or the limo because I'm looking for the cops.  Don't want to mess up a prime deal because some patrol car decides to go down the road.  I look over after a bit and mama's talking to the limo passenger.  I guess she didn't like what he had to say, because she pulls away from the limo, pretty angry from what I could see.  That's when the rear doors of the limo, on both sides, open up and three big, scary guys in white suits climb out.

            "They grab mama and she screams something, I don't hear it because I'm screaming too.  Mary and Louise come running, but one of the big guys pulls a gun.  I start running to help mama, trying to get close, but there are suddenly crowds of people in my way, refusing to move to let me through.  Maybe they saw the gun, I don't know, but I tried to force my way through.  I can hear mama yelling, I think she was trying to tell me to run away, but I'm not really listening, I'm too busy.  Suddenly, Mary's arm reaches out of nowhere and grabs me and begins dragging me deeper into the crowds.

            "They shoved her into the limo, she's screaming the whole way, but I don't know what she's screaming because I’m screaming just the same.  The limo then takes off, but I'm being pulled faster by Mary and Louise who has joined in holding me back.  I don't know how I remembered, but I got the license plate number even as I'm screaming and thrashing.  I wanted to go to the cops after the limo was long gone, but Mary insisted that Danny could handle this and we were on our way back to the apartments."

            "What was the license number?"

            "Oh, uh, GV 8830, local plates."

            "So what did Danny do?"

            The sandwich returned to Deborah's hand and she began nibbling on it once again.  "He was mad, didn't like one of his girls taken against their will.  ‘No way, no how’ he said.  I guess he found how who owned the limo, some guy named Sirkowski, and went to go see him."

            "Marcus J. Sirkowski," Llorn read slowly.

            "Yeah, him.  You know him?"

            "No, but I've heard of him.  Pretty rich guy, rich enough not to need a streetwalker of any kind.  Especially an unwilling one."

            "Yeah, that's what Danny said."  The girl took a large bite from the sandwich and chewed for a moment.  A middle aged red haired woman rose up from the other side of the diner and left quickly, as if she were in a great hurry for some reason.  No one seemed to notice or care.  "Anyway," Deborah started again, her mouth only partially full of food now.  "Danny goes out to see him, and boy was he angry.  I wanted to go, but Danny says no and orders the other girls to make sure I don't leave.  I guess he was trying to protect me or something, I don't know.  Now he's gone for like two or three hours, but when he gets back, he isn't angry anymore."  The sandwich returns to the plate again.  "He was scared.

            "I mean white as a sheet scared, and he was shaking too.  I don't know what that Sirkowski guy told him, but whatever it was, Terrible Danny was a shivering wreck.  He tells me that mama wasn't coming back, and then he runs off to his room to shake it off, I guess.  I blew up, you know?  Screaming and yelling so much it took five or six of the girls to hold me back and down until I calmed down, which I really never did.  I think I cried myself to sleep eventually, but I don't remember much from after that."

            "Would you guys like some desert?" the waitress interrupted.  Deborah looked to Llorne for a moment, and after a nod of confirmation ordered a slice of chocolate cake and ice cream.

            "Uh, sorry," Deborah said afterwards.  "I hope you've got enough money."

            "Don't worry about it.  I'll just make more as I need it."

            The girl blinked, shook it off, and finished off the sandwich.  "The next day, Danny comes to see me.  He's not so scared anymore, but he says that since my mama wasn't coming back, I'd have to earn a proper living like the rest of the girls.  I didn't want to, and the other girls didn't want me to either, so I gathered up a few things, like this coat," she lifted part of the long light brown coat she had been wearing since Llorne had first found her.  "It was mama's favorite, didn't want her to lose it to Danny's fire sale or anything.  There was a quick pool for cash, and I left with a bag of stuff on my back.  Been living on the streets ever since."

            The waitress returned, removed the two plates and replaced them with the desert and the check.  Deborah silently offered a fork to Llorne, who passed, and dug right in.  "I tried to see that Sirkowski guy, but they wouldn't even let me in the door.  Then I went to the cops, and this cop named, uh, Brown I think, he listened to my whole story and told me to come back after a couple of days and he'd have something.  Came back later, and I was told that he'd been transferred, and another cop, a real jerk, took up my 'case' and told me that mama was dead and that I should go to an orphanage or something.  I split quick after that.  Then I found you."

            Desert was finished, the check paid and the two sat at in the red plastic booth for a long moment in silence.  "Sounds," Llorne finally said.  "Like someone doesn't want anyone even looking for your mother, let alone finding her."

            "Yeah, I go that impression."

            Llorne stretched her arms, flinging her long black hair up as she did.  "Well, I guess we better get going then."  Deborah chased after Llorne as she left, a final good bye from the waitress was only half heard.

            "So we're going to see Sirkowski?"

            "Nope, he doesn't know where she is."

            Deborah fell into step next to Llorne, cocking her head up to look at her.  "How do you figure that?"

            "He's rich, sure, but he doesn't have the clout to get a seasoned detective transferred simply for looking into a case about a missing prostitute."  Llorne turned a corner, forcing Deborah to break into a short run to catch up.  "At best, he could get him pulled from the case.  No, this goes much higher than Sirkowski.  Hell, I'd say he's just as scared as Danny."

            "What could scare Sirkowski, especially if he's so rich?"  A cluster of people stood at a corner, waiting for the light to go green, and the pack slowed Deborah's walk, but not Llorne's, she kept moving forward, right into the crowd, and as her foot touched the street, the light changed.  Another sprint and Deborah was caught up.

            "Easy," Llorne said after Deborah was next to her again.  "The government.  High level government, possibly even some unheard of agency that has connections and power that make the government proper look like a pauper.  We need to go see them about finding your mother."

            "Oh."  Deborah stayed next to Llorne, but still had to play catch up at the next intersection where again Llorne blew through the crosswalk at a long steady rate, ignoring the very real possibility of some fool driver not stopping at the light.  "So where are we going?"

            "The capitol, that's where the government is."

            "Right, of course."  Several minutes went by as they walked a bit further down the road.  "Um, you know your motel is the other way, right?"

            "Checked out this morning, no need to go back."

            "Oh, okay."  Deborah followed, with hesitation, as they crossed another street just as the light turned and the cars began to stop.  "So where did you park your car?"

            "I don't have a car."

            "Well, then the airport is a bit outside of town, we can ride the train," she indicated the subway tunnel entrance but Llorne just kept on walking past it.  Deborah stopped there.  "Wait!"

            Llorne stopped and turned back.  "Yes?"

            "What are you doing?"

            "Walking."

            Deborah blinked.  "Walking?  The whole way?"

            "Sure, why not?"

            "Do you know how far away it is?"

            "135 miles, give or take a few thousand feet."

            "And you want to walk the whole way?"  Llorne smiled, turned back to her path and began walking again.  Deborah stood for a few minutes running the thought through her head.  Finally she gave up thinking about it and broke into a run.  "Hey, wait up!"

---------

Questions

1.  What kind of person is Lcorn Llorne?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
2.  What kind of person is the Deborah Ignigus?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
3.  Does the setting seem fitting?  Would you like to know more?
4.  Any suggestions for a nickname for Danny?  He's a pimp, technically, but I'm tapped on that.
5.  I mention, but do not name, the capitol of this country, does it matter at this point?

Retrospective: Exploitation Now!

Hey look, something about a comic, a dead one, but a comic nonetheless.  In fact, this is the first of these Retrospectives I've done about a long deceased comic, all the rest died or completed shortly before I wrote theirs.  It won't be the last.

It's also one of those comics I've been meaning to reread for a while, and it's short, so that helps.  Exploitation Now! is one of the earliest strips I read, and is also amongst the first of them to end, which makes it a fine starting point for this leg of the series.  It's also Michael Poe's first foray into comics, immediately followed by Errant Story.  Yeah, it's kind of damn important.

The first thing I noticed was how quickly the art of EN! began to feel like Poe's art style.  He does have a distinct style which combines a bit of the anime/manga look with very heavy lines and distinctive shapes for the head and bodies of his characters, and they start really coming together before even the halfway point of EN!'s life span.  That said, at one point I wasn't sure if the art was as I remember it.  During a certain flash back sequence, the art switched to a dreamy, grey scale shaded nature, which is pretty common, but a specific panel didn't reflect my memory.  Of course, that was back in 2002/2003, so a decade of time might have effected it.  Still, I got a feeling that the art had been redone at some point.  Possible as he has been working on reworking Errant Story for publication, so EN! may have already undergone the same treatment.

What really makes up EN! though is the way it's structured, which is, to say the least, odd.  Do keep in mind that EN! lasted a whole 2 years, and that was it.  Even in the last few months of the year, I'm sure Poe was more focused on Errant Story (it started in November of 2002, EN! ended in September).  It started as a "gag-a-day" strip, featuring a kind of humor I think I'll call "Shock-Snark" and may write a longer article about in the future.  There are a lot of comics that this back in the day, and a lot that TRY to do it now, and fail miserably because it's not so shocking any more (early internet was weird kiddies).  As the comic went on, it shifted to a much more dramatic style.

I've talked about Cerebus Syndrome before (usually with regard to Sluggy Freelance), but in a LOT of ways, EN! is a much better example.  The idea of drama eating a humor comic is blatant and obvious here.  The point when it becomes clear the comic has taken an odd turn is when one character narrates her backstory, in the middle of a fire fight with the police.  That's the joke of course, but the backstory isn't funny at all.  It's not BAD, mind you, but compared to the string of jokes based on sex, drugs and toilet humor that came before it stands out.

The real reason it stands out though is that the two main joke characters were separated from the drama characters at about this point, and never met again.  This allowed the dramatic story to dominate, especially in the last act where there were very few jokes at all.  The thing is, the last act of EN! feels very much like the entire RUN of Errant Story, though it lacks a lot of the real depth Errant Story would have by the time it reached it's climax.  Of course, that's 2 years versus 10+ so that's to be expected.

I guess my point is while Exploitation Now! isn't a great comic, it is good and educational, especially if you've read Errant Story (and if you haven't, shame on you).  It's the foundation on which a greater piece was created, and thus from a historical perspective, it's invaluable.  Of course it ends with a tease for a sequel, but I doubt we'll see it.  Not that it can't be done, I can think of more than a few ways (the first being to actually get Bimbo and Ralph involved), but I think at this point Poe has grown past it.  Does Not Play Well With Others could be considered a quasi sequel (one of EN!'s characters plays a relatively major role there), but it's not a direct sequel, and I think it would be a disservice to both comics to try to turn it into one.  Maybe one day we'll see EN! return, but I doubt it, at least for now.

Well, that's enough for today.  I'll see what I can get together for next week, until then kiddies.

Dreams of Stars Part 3

"A game?"

"Yes," he said as he laid out a finely carved wooden board. It was covered in black and white squares, painted in bold, outstanding colors, and the whole thing shined like nothing Llorne had ever seen before. "It is a game from a world away. One of chiefs and paupers, scientists and priests, and a game you will learn to play."

"Okay," she replied as he placed each piece on the board in their proper place. "But why?"

"There are many things I know, and much of it is difficult to understand, let alone learn." He places his hand alongside the board, palm down, then pulls back, revealing a T shaped piece of twisted metal with a long chain trailing out behind it. Its darkened steel seemed to sparkle with a light with no true source. "If you can learn to play this game, and beat me in a match, this will be yours, along with all I can teach."

"But how can I beat you?" Llorne protested. "If you know so much, perhaps you know how to beat me every time."

"This is true, but I promise you that I will play at a level that is comparable to your abilities. The game will be fair." She didn't look very reassured. "There is a rule amongst my kind that we must follow when we are first taught. The rule simply says 'trust me.' If you can find it in yourself to follow that first rule, then you're already halfway to earning that amulet."

Llorne locked herself in deep thought for a moment, then smiled and reached out to pick up one of the pieces. "What is this piece? It looks like a dog, but not."

---------

The girl had long ago regained her breath and seemed to dedicate herself to the task of beating Llorne. Each move was powerful and well thought out, a balance rarely seen outside of clubs and groups. "You're very good."

"You think so?" the girl moved her knight.

"Oh yes." Llorne took a pawn. "Where did you learn, if I may ask?"

"One of my mama's regulars taught me." Bishop across the board. "I think he had a thing for little girls."

"Oh really?" Her king was moved. "I assume that you didn't. . ."

"No no no. Mama would have killed him." Rook two spaces forward. "I guess since he couldn't get his jollies with me, he settled for this."

Rook was countered by an angry pawn. "Well he taught you quite well."

"Yeah, I guess." Rook bulldozes the pawn out of its way. "We almost never finished a game; his time usually ran out before we could. I won a few times when we did though." She wrinkled her nose in thought. "I bet he let me win."

"I doubt that. In fact, I'm sure you earned every victory." Llorne grabbed at the amulet hanging from her neck and caressed it between her fingers as if in thought. She stared at the board for a time, never saying a word.

"You gonna move?"

"I'm thinking."

The girl sighed a kind of reply and scratched her forehead. She turned slightly to watch the rest of the park. The trees barely moved in the still air of mid-spring, with nary a cloud in the sky to indicate any potential danger of rain. Children ran through the grasses followed by parents who walked arm in arm. A woman, not much older than her mother, ran amongst a small crowd of children, most likely not her own, chasing them like a monster of some kind. A more bitter sigh came from her lips as she turned back to Llorne, who still had yet to move. "You know what move you're going to make, so just do it already."

"Oh really? And what might that be?"

The girl rolled her eyes and reached over the board and grabbed Llorne's lone bishop. "Like this." She moved the piece and then grabbed one of her own. "Then I move like this, then you do this, and this. . ." She trailed off as her hands continued to move each piece, playing out a game that should take hours in mere minutes. She piled the pieces on each side until only a few were left. With a final flick, she knocked over her own king. "And that's how you would win." She sat back up with a rather smug smile, then a brief moment of shock at her own actions followed by a more sheepish look. "Sorry, I got a bit carried away."

"That's alright. I've actually been expecting that."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Now it's my turn." Llorne leaned forward, folding her arms underneath her chest. "You're here to ask me to help you find your mother."

The girl backed away in total shock. "Wha. . . how. . . huh?"

"Well, it wasn't too hard. Lots of little things said that was the general idea of what was going on."

"But if you knew, why the chess game? Why didn't you look for me?"

"I wanted to know how much you wanted me to help. That and I haven't played chess with anyone in a while." She chuckled and leaned back again. "And that was a pretty good game, even when you finished it for us."

"Oh." What else could the girl say?

"So, go ahead."

"What?"

"Ask me. I'm certainly not going to help you unless you ask me."

"Oh, yeah. Okay, um, could you help me find my mother?"

"Sure thing." Llorne stood up and took a deep breath. "I bet you're hungry, want to get some lunch?"

"Yeah!" The girl nearly jumped up, then pulled herself back under control. "Yes, I would like to have some lunch." She corrected. Llorne started walking, leading them both out of the park. "Um," the girl said. "Thank you, um, what's your name anyway?"

"Lcorn Llorne."

"Lcorn is a funny name."

"Where I come from, it would be considered my last name. You can call me Llorne."

"Llorne is a funny name too."

"Is that so? Then what's your name?"

"Deborah. Deborah Ignigus."

"Ignigus is a really funny name."

------

Questions

1.  What kind of person is Lcorn Llorne?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
2.  What kind of person is the Deborah Ignigus?  What does she look like (in your mind)?
3.  Does the setting seem fitting?  Would you like to know more?
4.  How do you pronounce Ignigus?  Get as close as you can.